Family Communication in Mixed Marriage Couples Between Indonesia- Australia

The way each person communicates depends on culture; language, rules, and norms of each. Culture has the responsibility for all communicative behavior and meaning that everyone has. Communication difficulties faced by the individuals involved are caused by differences in their respective cultural expectations. Differences in cultural expectations can lead to fatal risks, one of which is a misunderstanding. In intermarried family life there will be a misunderstanding of intercultural communication, which involves all family members. This situation can lead to an agreement to recognize one culture that will dominate or develop another culture which is a fusion of the two cultures (third culture), or even both cultures can go together in one family. This study discusses family communication in mixed marriage couples between Indonesia and Australia. The research carried out is intended to find out and analyze the negotiation of self-identity in interactions, conflict management mediated by face and culture, family communication processes, inhibiting factors, and supporting family communication in mixed marriage couples between Indonesia and Australia. Using advanced negotiation theory and symbolic interaction theory. In this study, the authors used a descriptive qualitative method. The data collection techniques used are through observation, interviews, and documentation. Data obtained shows that Mindfulness: Acceptance of new cultures, in terms of language (using both languages), nature (Australia: IndividualismIndonesia: collectivism). Mindlessness: Stereotype, perspective, building tolerance, dealing with habits, opening up to accept a new culture.


INTRODUCTION
Basically a communication will be understood if what is conveyed can be well received. In married couples of different nationalities, language is an easy thing to say. However, whether the understanding of language possessed is the same. This is often a difference in language and meaning in conveying an opinion which ultimately can lead to conflict.
Indonesia is a country that is visited by many foreign citizens because of the tourism sector. For this reason, the interest in a cultural exchange in the marriage process is enormous. Countries with low context communication such as America, Europe, and even Australia also like Indonesian culture and it's people.

THEORY FACE NEGOTIATIONS
Face negotiation theory is one of the few theories that explicitly recognizes that people from different cultures have various thoughts about the "face" of others. This thinking causes them to deal with conflict in different ways. The face is an extension of one's selfconcept, the face has become the focus of much research in various fields of science (Morissan, 2013).
Ting-Toomey bases many parts of his theory on face and facework. The face is an important picture in life. The face is also a metaphor for self-image which is believed to cover all aspects of social life. This concept originated from the Chinese. The Malians, Mali can be more important than life itself. Erving Goffman (1967) is also recognized as a figure who puts a face in contemporary Western research. He observed that the face (face) is an image of self that is shown by people in conversation with others. Goffman also describes the face as something that is maintained, lost, or strengthened. This term can be found everyday in our everyday language by using the terms "thick face", "face wall", keep the image, frowning face, tangled face, and so forth. (Yasir, 2011).
Cultural diversity greatly influences the way these people communicate. Although the face is a universal concept, there are various differences that represent their respective cultures. The need for faces is present in all cultures, but all cultures do not manage these face needs equally. Ting-Toomey believes that faces can be interpreted in two ways: awareness of faces and the need for faces. Face concern is related to both one's face and the face of others. There are self-interests and the interests of others. An example that can be used is how when we meet people with different cultures always try to maintain the image and be polite so as not to offend others. While the need for a face (face need) refers to the dichotomy of autonomy involvement. For example, there are some cultures that do not like to depend on people or other cultures, so that the appearance or face that looks ignorant or does not care about others (Little Jhon, 2011).

SYMBOLIC INTERACTION
Symbolic interaction exists because of the basic ideas in shaping meaning derived from the human mind (Mind) about the self (Self), and its relationship in the midst of social interaction, and the purpose of the ultimate goal to mediate, and interpret the meanings in the community (Society) where individuals it settled. As noted by Douglas (1970) in Ardianto (2007), the meaning comes from interaction, and there is no other way to form meaning, other than by building relationships with other individuals through interaction.
A brief definition of the three basic ideas of symbolic interaction, among others: (1) Mind (Mind) is the ability to use symbols that have the same social meaning, where each individual must develop their thoughts through interactions with other individuals, (2) Self (Self) is the ability to reflect on each individual from an assessment of the viewpoints or opinions of others, and the theory of symbolic interactionism is one of the branches in sociology theory that proposes about oneself (the-self) and the outside world, and (3) Society ( Society) is a network of social relationships that are created, built, and constructed by each individual in the middle of society, and each individual is involved in behaviors that they choose actively and voluntarily, which in turn deliver humans in the process of taking a role in their society. "Mind, Self and Society" is the most famous work of George Harbert Mead (Mead. 1934in West-Turner. 2008, which in the book focuses on three theme concepts and assumptions needed to compile a discussion of symbolic interaction theory.

CROSS-CULTURAL COMMUNICATION
E.B. Taylor, an anthropologist, gives a definition of culture as something complex that includes knowledge, beliefs, art, morals, law, customs, abilities and habits acquired by humans as members of society. He even said that culture encompasses everything that is obtained and learned from normative behavioral patterns meaning that it includes all means or patterns of thinking, feeling and acting (in Soekanto, 2014).
The simplest definition of intercultural communication is to add the word culture into the statement "communication between two / more people with different cultural backgrounds" in several definitions of communication above. We can also provide the simplest definition of intercultural communication, namely interpersonal communication carried out by people of different cultural backgrounds. Intercultural communication relations explain various cultural differences that exist in the value of orientation in verbal and nonverbal communication (Martin & Nakayama, 2004).
Intercultural communication has a main theme that distinguishes it from other communication studies, namely the relatively large differences in background experiences between the communicators, due to cultural differences. Consequently, if there are two people with different cultures, communication behaviors, and meanings will also be different(Hohmann, Marriot & Amato, 2017).

FAMILY COMMUNICATION
According to Supratiknya (1995) communication is the existence of dialogue and cooperation in all matters and mutual relations between family members, for example between parents and children. A family is a group of people who live together in a place to live together and each member feels an inner connection so that there is mutual influence and attention to each other. Alo Liliweri (2011) explains the scope of family communication consisting of elements: (a) form, (b) nature (c) method, (d) function, (e) purpose. These elements in relation to family communication are described as follows: The form of communication in the family is personal communication that is interpersonal communication. The nature of communication in the family can be verbal or nonverbal. Verbally that is by speech and writing, while non-verbally is by actions or gestures. The communication methods in the family are information, persuasive, and instructive. Its function is to provide information, education, persuasion, and entertainment. The purpose of communication in the family is social change, social participation, change in attitude, change in opinion, and also changes in behavior.
Alo Liliweri (2011) explains that if the family members respond to each other's messages and receive the messages, then actually there has been interpersonal communication in dialogical families. While the feedback from communication in this family functions as an element of enriching and strengthening communication between family members so that the hopes and desires of family members can be achieved. Hafied Cangara (2013) explains the function of communication in the family is to improve human relations (Human relations), avoid and overcome personal conflicts in the family, reduce the uncertainty of something, and share knowledge and experience with others. Communication within the family can improve human relations between those who communicate. In family life and in society a person can get conveniences in his life because he has many friends. Through communication within the family, good relationships can also be fostered, so as to The definition of intermarriage or mixed marriage is an association between two people of different nationalities which may be different from race, ethnicity, religion, and language (Wright, 2017). For example, the case study between Rumanian and Hungarian, Andrei, T., Bourbonnais, R., Oancea, B., & Mirica, A. (2020), ethnically found some influence factors of mixed marriages, such as educational attainment, the age difference between spouses, and the number of Hungarians within the locality/village or municipality.
At the marriage of two different cultures, it results in a union of beliefs and values, norms, ethnocentrism, and also verbal messages. Through mixed marriages, the couple can gain more general knowledge from the local community, break existing stereotypes, and acquire new abilities. Developing relationships with people who are different from themselves is something special because it makes something new with a difference, couples of different cultures can also explain their desires with one another (Solomon, 2013). According to Wood (2013) a culture consists of two components, namely material and immaterial. Material is a component in the form of physical substances, it reflects a value, needs, and goals. And Imateriel needs are components that do not appear tangible, and this component has 4 aspects, namely beliefs, values, norms, and language. Trust is a concept of what is considered good and right (Wood, 2013).

METHOD
This research was conducted using qualitative methods that emphasize the aspect of an in-depth understanding of a problem rather than looking at the problem for generalization research (Kriyantono, 2007). This research method prefers to use in-depth analysis techniques, which is to examine cases because qualitative methodologies believe that the nature of one problem will be different from the nature of other problems. The purpose of this methodology is not a generalization but an in-depth understanding of a problem. Qualitative research functions to provide substantive categories and qualitative research hypotheses. Researchers aim to gain an understanding of family communication between mixed marriage couples between Indonesia and Australia in detail in the form of words, containing data excerpts to provide an overview of the presentation of reports from the results of observations, interviews, and documentation.

NEGOTIATION OF SELF IDENTITY IN INTERPERSONAL INTERACTION BETWEEN INDONESIAN-AUSTRALIAN MIXED MARRIAGE COUPLES
The first thing is the use of language used in everyday life. Of the several speakers have their respective differences in using the language used to communicate in everyday life. Each intermarried couple has a way of communicating through the language used. In using language, there are those who use bilingual languages and even multilingual in their daily interactions. Not all married couples mix using Indonesian even though they live in Indonesia. Mixed marriages still respect the differences in existing languages, even though they communicate in different languages that do not become a barrier for intermarried couples in communicating and building daily interactions. Mixed marriages determine the language to be used in everyday life and apply rules to their relationships. In Indonesian culture, values and norms are often associated with ancestors that create the existence of values and norms used in society (Samovar et al., 2010). But for Westerners, it is different from the values and norms that are often applied by Indonesians on a daily basis. To avoid misunderstanding in accepting values and norms, they must first explain what values and norms are different between them. This is in order to avoid conflicts between mixed marriages. As stated by the informant, her husband believes that the values and norms prevailing in Indonesia are like believing in things like putting a pin under a baby's pillow is irrational. Knowledge of cultural differences and positive relationships with other cultures can make individuals judge about intercultural relations.
Based on the writer's observation in the field, the negotiation of the mixed marriage couple's identity is done continuously, every day they negotiate, tell each other. If faced with an event or topic of conversation, the couple will immediately negotiate by means of communication using two languages or a mixture of Indonesian and Australian. Not infrequently the authors also see couples in communication using gestures and facial expressions in communication. The couple who is an Australian face or expression on his face calm and firm when talkg. Look into the eyes of the other person and don't be in a hurry to deliver the sentence, because if the wife doesn't understand what the husband is talking about, he will repeat it again until the wife or child understands. Symbols or gestures that are often done by the husband when raising his shoulders and pouting his lips, a sign that the husband does not care what he will do, in other words, the husband surrenders and follows it. But if the husband feels out of place he will immediately protest without hesitation. Another thing that I found out in the field is, mixed marriage couples look compact and support each other. They will praise each other and not be shy about showing affection in front of others. Based on the observation of researchers, in negotiating the couple's self-identity nothing is too difficult, acceptance of culture is very easy. The family of informants is all open-minded to accept each other's strengths and weaknesses and tolerate household life.

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT IS MEDIATED BY ADVANCE AND CULTURE IN INDONESIAN-AUSTRALIAN MIXED MARRIAGE COUPLES
The way couples in establishing harmonious relationships are different. Conflicts often occur in daily life. However, the conflict is not always about the same problem, this is because the conflict management is aware of what is appropriate and inappropriate, this is based on conflict resolution by a mixed marriage partner. The method used by informants in building intercultural relations, namely by discussing the obstacles that occur and mutual tolerance. This is to avoid conflicts in different cultures because each culture has its own features that are brought by someone in their lives.
Informants in building harmonious relationships in mixed marriages, they give mutual understanding and compromise. Because informants have long been in building intercultural relations with their partners so they can understand each other what can and cannot be accepted by their relationship, especially in their culture. When a married couple interferes with a relationship like a marriage, then they will choose the culture they will adopt. So that mixed marriages simplify this. Because of different racial and ethnic developments, mixed marriages change their attitude to the social context in their relationship. The couple continued to practice Australian culture but did not forget Indonesian culture. They adopted a culture that was just fine in their eyes. Some interviews also illustrate how intercultural marriages view conflict in different ways depending on how the conflict is. When a husband and wife are willing to decide to incorporate each culture into their marriage, then with that the couple will respect each other's different perspectives. Showing mutual respect is important when dealing with conflict. So the couple will focus on discussing the root of the issue that triggers conflict based on the perspective of each rather than blaming each culture.

THE PROCESS OF FAMILY COMMUNICATION IN MIXED MARRIAGE COUPLES BETWEEN INDONESIA AND AUSTRALIA
The process of communicating with couples at the beginning of a marriage is not the same as communication over the years of marriage. At the beginning of the marriage, I began communication with a lot of small talks, awkwardness in starting a chat with a partner, fear of being wrong, and afraid of being offended.The communication process based on the interview results showed that the communication between Indonesian and Australian mixed marriage couples, at first felt awkward because Indonesian informants were afraid to start communication with husbands who were citizens of Australia, were afraid of being wrong, afraid of being offended if they said the wrong words. This turned out to be just a wife's fear. Australians communicate directly at the heart of the conversation, don't like to make small talk beforehand. Indonesians are just the opposite, making small talk as opening new chats to get to the point of the conversation. The informant's husband doesn't like to beat around the bush. Go directly to what the wife wants and what is the problem and discuss problemsolving solutions. The communication process carried out in a mixed marriage family occurs interpersonally by face to face. Direct communication (direct communication), group communication (group communication), communication using electronic media (telephone, social media, and so on). The discussion starts by asking each other, how today's activity or how was your day? After that ask about what will you do tomorrow? Ask about what plans to do to fill the time tomorrow. The conversation is simple but it is a form of attention in the family. In this case not only between husband and wife but also with children.

INHIBITING FACTORS OF FAMILY COMMUNICATION IN INDONESIAN-AUSTRALIAN MIXED MARRIAGE COUPLES
The communication barriers felt by Indonesian-Australian mixed marriage couples who have had dozens of marriages and even decades are not many or no longer constrained as obstacles. The more obstacle felt at the beginning of a marriage is language differences. After a long marriage, many obstacles in communication are based on principles and culture such as dress culture and so on as well as principles or beliefs. Although having the same religion, but the knowledge of the husband's religion is not the same as the religious knowledge that the wife has. In addition to these obstacles, experience perception is also an obstacle to mixed marriage partner communication. Informants who have different cultural backgrounds also must have experienced during life before marriage, this affects the understanding and learning process of a new culture.

CONCLUSION
Based on the results of research and discussion in this study, the conclusion is that family communication in mixed marriage between Indonesian-Australian couples is examined in the following cases: Negotiation of self-identity in the interpersonal interaction of mixed marriage couples between Indonesia and Australia. The first thing is the use of language used in everyday life. Of the several speakers have their respective differences in using the language used to communicate in everyday life. Each intermarried couple has a way of communicating through the language used. In using language, there are those who use bilingual languages and even multilingual in their daily interactions. Not all married couples mix using Indonesian even though they live in Indonesia. Mixed marriages still respect the differences in existing languages, even though they communicate in different languages that do not become a barrier for intermarried couples in communicating and building daily interactions. Mixed marriages determine the language to be used in everyday life and apply rules to their relationships. Indonesian women prefer western men because they have their own perspective, egalitarian, namely the view that all people have the same degree and do not compare the strengths and weaknesses of others.
Intermarried couples try to build tolerance for cultural differences that exist between them. Indirectly they must be able to accept their partner's culture. The existence of rejection is one that in establishing intercultural relations there are also obstacles that can occur in mixed marriages. In addition to rejection, the obstacle can be in the form of intolerance between the two intermarried couples. Conflict management is mediated by face and culture in mixed marriage between Indonesia and Australia. Conflict management is done differently between Indonesia and Australia. The way to resolve conflicts by Indonesians is to temporarily avoid to reduce emotions when conflicts occur so that undesirable things do not occur. But for couples who come from Australia, the expression of dislike will be easily seen. If in a state of anger he will immediately protest and want to discuss. But because they already understand that their partner will not want to talk when the situation is still angry and emotional, they will both be quiet and listen if one is angry. After the anger subsided, the new mixed marriage family will discuss to find a joint solution to the problem at hand.
The process of family communication in mixed marriage couples between Indonesia and Australia. The communication process is done directly or interpersonal and uses social media or gadgets to communicate. The communication process is carried out in various ways, namely by face to face directly, in groups with other family members, and some are done interpersonal via telephone or chat on social media. Inhibiting factors and supporting family communication in mixed marriage couples between Indonesia and Australia. The perceived obstacle in mixed marriage family communication is the limitations of communication by language, but after years of marriage and learning to eat these obstacles are only felt at the beginning of a marriage. Furthermore, barriers to the understanding of informants and mixed marriage families differ. In this case, Australian husbands have more experience than Indonesian wives. This is because Australians have gone through many things and met people from a variety of characteristics each. So that the husband's experience is more than the wife's. When these different understandings meet, it will easily trigger conflict. Another obstacle is the habit that has been brought since birth, this habit will shape the character of the informants from each country. This will be an obstacle in the mixed marriage family communication process.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT
I would like to thank Craker Family, Weatherley family, Petrie family, and Ward family who have been willing to accept writing and provide cooperation during the research process. Also, I would like thank to all those who have helped provide suggestions for this research.